can of worms

would anyone comment if i asked for your opinion on swearing? i'm amazed at the varying degrees of swearing that i hear among christians. some think you can't ever swear at all or you don't love God, others are okay with dropping the f-bomb right after declaring their love for God. why? why such a broad range? what is it about rude language that bothers people or doesn't bother them?

honestly, this is a constant frustrating challenge for me, because your words and actions are an overflow of the heart, so really swearing would be indicative of nothing good. and yet, judging others' "level" of christianity or whatever by whether they swear or not seems horribly judgmental and legalistic.

words are powerful. God created the universe by speaking. we forge emotional bonds through vows of marriage, or even friendship. so what we say matters. on that principle, i will always try not to swear. but growing up, i tried so hard to do and not do all the right or wrong things and ended up neglecting BEING, from the inside. i ignored my heart and concentrated on behaving as a christian. so i often think, isn't it better to first align our hearts with God and THEN worry about correcting our behaviour?

i suppose it comes down to legalism vs. mysticism. happy balance, anyone?

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

i've discovered a newfound appreciation of this song from dear old sufjan. you should listen.

i will waste my life - just let me find i'm at your feet

i miss

laugh out loud - for real

okay, so lately i've been, let's say, preoccupied by many thoughts about something. those who know me know.

so much so that i use it to avoid my papers and homework like the plague.

my roomate annie had some words of wisdom for me tonight on that very subject.

she said,
"i figured out how to get you to stop thinking about *it* so much. just make yourself believe that you have to write an 8 page paper about *it* that's due in 2 weeks. THEN, you'll ignore it and avoid it until the day before it's due!"

i laughed. out loud.

annie, you know me too well.

Beloved, God is waiting to be discovered! He is waiting to be encountered. One of Hosea's big concerns was that his people lost their hunger for the knowledge of God, completely lost their way, and got caught up in the daily grind. And I am committed to seeing a generation awakened to the reality of the Creator - to seeing a generation that will stand before the Lord, regardless of career choice, financial situation, or number of kids and marvel at Him as they pursue the one thing necessary. I want to see this young adults generation seized with the beauty of God just as the four living creatures were. This is what I am contending for.

~ one thing
dwayne roberts

**SNOW!!**
= happy heart for marcia

why do i do this to myself??

i'm still writing my paper. and by now i'm getting into it, and i think that i'm touching on some good ideas. problem is, it's due today. and i now have time to only catch bits and pieces of the really good ideas i have. see, if i'd started this sooner, i probably would have had the ideas sooner, and been able to write a stellar paper. instead, i deprive myself of sleep and write a decent one. sometimes i don't get myself.

on to other news, i was excited because i was supposed to sit with lloyd axworthy yesterday at my scholarship dinner...but he didn't show. so i sat with the vice-president academic, dr. stevenson, instead. he was a very nice man, but i wanted to sit with lloyd axworthy. i shook his hand last year. i did, however, end up sitting beside this year's scholarship recipient, who is a speed skater and is friends with cindy klassen. new claim to fame!

p.s. snow is coming!!

i'm a fan of photography

i love getting pictures back from being developed. and today was an especially good day, because most of my film actually had decent shots!! so here are a few for you all to enjoy...

i love to talk

but i feel talked out recently. hmm.

2 and a half more weeks till i'm home in winkler with my FAMILY!!! i'm excited :) although i have to get through 2 papers and 3 exams before then. i'm thinking a little mini-road trip to brandon and macgregor is in order before i hit winkler :)

i ask that each of you that reads this would join with me in praying for SNOW!! i want to be able to go skating outside and play in the snow over christmas break! i don't know what it is about my home that makes me so happy. perhaps all the childhood memories and such. the sad thing is that i am growing up, and even though i love going home, it's never quite as i remembered it. my perception has changed from being away, and that's good, but it's also a little sad.

my favorite things about our home/farm at christmas time:
- fresh air
- animals!!
- wood stove coziness
- candles all over the house
- the way our kitchen feels
- singing and conducting the hallelujah chorus with my mom all over the house
- dad reading the christmas story on christmas eve
- and a new "remember when" for this year...snowmobiling!!

pursuit

what does it really mean to pursue something?

i KNOW that how i spend my time reflects what i pursue, or what my priorities are. and yet, i spend so much time with useless things.

Jesus, please give me a newness of life!!

i am still running

As the music at the banquet
As the wine before the meal
As the firelight in the night
So are you to me

As the ruby in the setting
As the fruit upon the tree
As the wind blows over the plains
So are you to me

As the wind blows over the plains
So are you to me
So are you to me

~ eastmountainsouth

i have issues

i can be such a jerk sometimes. i have a bad attitude. i'm jealous. i'm overly concerned what others think of me. and i compare myself to other people all the time. i'm prideful. i want to blame it on someone else.

and i hate it when i know it. i feel as though the days of childhood where i could be mad and not know why were easier. i really need to grow up.

help me, Jesus.

and so what we have learned applies to our life today

and God has a lot to say in his book!!
(i miss the old days of veggie tales, what can i say)

i had one fantastic weekend full of laughing till my stomach hurt, singing till my face was perma-smiling as i sang, praying for our generation of young adults, hearing from God, getting confused and feeling at home.

let me just say that leadership retreats are the best idea EVER for churches! i love the community, the encouragement, the laughter and the accountability. i love getting excited, challenged and built up together.

i also love the prophetic. what a crazy fantastic dynamic community and faith building gift of the Spirit! i learned that God uses others to speak into our lives. i learned that God cares about me right now, and sees where i'm at. i am learning that i must trust him. sounds trite, but if i don't trust him, i will not move forward from where i am. i learned that i am very very selfish. very very prideful. i also learned that God is full of empowering grace and second chances. i learned that God is willing to look past my imperfections to my heart. and i learned that God's heart is for me.

my brother

this is my big brother the brave hunter man with his most recent buck. i believe that he got it with a muzzel loader. i sort of miss the excitement of cleaning the carcass and having it hang in our garage. ah well. i suppose one must make some sacrifices for getting an education in the big city.

now, to make him uber uncomfortable, i will write something in capital letters for everyone to read and know.
I LOVE YOU JOTHAM!!

i love memories

another morning on the lake
the day my heart beat too fast to stop me from crying as i said goodbye to my lovely LTP's
me and my kitchen - gettting supper for the boys and jen

he's not a baby in the manger anymore
he's not a broken man on a cross
he's didn't stay in the grave
he's not staying in heaven forever

he's ALIVE!
we will reign with him
he's ALIVE!
king of kings
worthy son of God
he's ALIVE!

he's doing a new thing
so we're singing a new song
the Bride says come!
rule and reign

because

He's ALIVE!

~ (FCF worship)

busy day

tomorrow will be a busy day. after which we have planned a roomate "debriefing" session for our own enjoyment.

my little sister is over for the night and that makes my heart happy. my roomates also make my heart happy. pictures of kids i love also make my heart happy.