i love my house group!! they're the best :) hmm, my week so far. well, i left my bio notes on the bus on tuesday.... freaked out, but got them back! praise #1! tuesday night, our landlords called my roommate (i was out shopping) and asked her to come pray in their house. they've told her they felt a presence there, and can feel someone watching them....anyways, this was awhile ago taht she had the chance to share Christ with them and explain how our apartment's been prayed over hardcore. we had actually gone over once to pray with them, but it hadn't worked out that time. so tuesday, she went down, i stayed upstairs and prayed. honestly we're not experienced in spiritual warfare! we know who we are in Christ, but how do you approach demonic influences in the lives of people who don't believe in Jesus, and could be very well giving the demons a right to be there? this has definitely been a stepping out in faith and learning experience! it's an incredible opportunity to share with people in our building though, and so please pray for us, and especially my roommate steph, who has built relationship with them over the past 2 years. these apartments have had freaky stories told, and i believe it's a playground for the devil to put fear into people's lives. pray that our little living place will be a light that permeates around us and taht we too will be radiant with the truth of Christ!
i've been thinking a lot about my summer...it's starting to get really busy. ideally, i would like to go to abbotsford in may for dan's wedding (the one from teh picture, with me and steve), then to texas with my family in early july, then to iowa with our youth outreach in late july, adn then to halifax in september for jennie's wedding. as it looks right now, abbotsford is out, although i had very much wanted to go and make a stop at the ranch in alberta on the way there.... also, my parents think if i go to iowa, i shouldn't ask the beginning of july off to go to texas. but i've never been to texas! plus, we'd go through kansas city and i could visit tarah at the international house of prayer! oh so many things i want to do and places i want to go! your will be done, Lord. i think the "for-sure!" trips are to iowa and halifax. anyways. i know i've probably explained to you guys a hundred times and you're sick of it. so i'll go eat lunch now. oh! but one more thing - please pray that steph and i would be able to find a roommate for her when i go back to winkler in may! shanks a bonch.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
come in
hey it's me, i'm back. lori's blog got me to thinking - surprise, surprise! something pastor dale said while we were praying before the tenebrae service on good friday. "without death, there can be no resurrection" and immediately i was convicted. i keep thinking about living in the Spirit and how reality is found in Christ and the radicalness of that all! and wondering why i can't seem to step out in that and live in victory over the sin in my life. so. it hit me that unless those things are DEAD in my life, there will be no true resurrection of a spirit-driven-filled life. colossians 3 says, "put to death, therefore....." and over and over in other places the bible tells us to be dead to the flesh. only when i actually kill my bad habits, my selfish attitudes, will i come to life and bear the fruit of the spirit! and so when we think about the finality of death, and the reality of death, we need to apply that to our sin. i needed to realize that the reason i couldn't seem to get rid of a lot of things in my life was that i wasnt' willing to kill them! i wanted to drug them, maybe incapacitate them, but not put them to death. God's spirit is all powerful to aid us, but it's totally our responsibility to put these things (listed in colossians 3 and other places) to death! galatians 2:20, "i have been crucified with Christ...and the life i now live i live by faith..."
i just needed to get that out and down in words. i agree with lori - it was a great weekend!
i just needed to get that out and down in words. i agree with lori - it was a great weekend!
Monday, March 28, 2005
an engagement and two invitations
i learned a little lesson about myself this weekend. on saturday (while i was flying around town like a chicken with its head cut off) i dropped off my garage-sale-special guitar to be fixed. i believe the lady called it "truss adjustment", but all i really wanted was for the strings to be closer to the neck so it was easier to play, like other guitars. and i had hope that they could fix it for me. and when hope is disappointed, bitterness very quickly tries to take root. i picked it up, paid for it, took it home. and sat down to play a guitar whose strings were maybe a 1/2 mm closer than before. not enough to really notice or pay 25 dollars for. it's just funny how i didn't realize it, but i was very excited about having a nice guitar (like my friends!) without having to buy a new one. and i was hopeful. and the second i was disappointed, the devil tried to get those bitter thuoghts into my mind. and it almost worked. only sunday night did i really realize that this is how bitterness can become a foothold. even small things like guitars can affect you! it's so easy not to notice. but when you don't notice, it'll grow. and soon you have a problem. imagine how much worse if this had been hope placed on a relationship. you can't let it take root. take every thought captive. this is how we live victoriously! this is how we take hold of the freedom and life Christ has given us (see Colossians 3)!
about the weddings. my friend jen got engaged, my friend dan sent me his invitation and my cousin kerwin gave us one too. and my jennie e-mailed me about her wedding that i'll be going to in september, in halifax, Lord willing!
for those of you praying for us this weekend as we led worship - thank you! the Lord totally took our little skill and big desire to serve Him and transformed it to his glory! i enjoyed myself, we worshipped with joy and people were blessed. and you just know God has his hand in it, because we had no idea what the text was for the message that morning (it was easter, they figured we didn't need a text for that!) and so we just picked songs as the Lord led. well, the last song we sang fit perfectly with our pastor's closing words - almost verbatim! only Jesus.
i also visited britt's grave on friday. muddy, but much needed and good, in that sense.
only one more month of school....i can do it......
about the weddings. my friend jen got engaged, my friend dan sent me his invitation and my cousin kerwin gave us one too. and my jennie e-mailed me about her wedding that i'll be going to in september, in halifax, Lord willing!
for those of you praying for us this weekend as we led worship - thank you! the Lord totally took our little skill and big desire to serve Him and transformed it to his glory! i enjoyed myself, we worshipped with joy and people were blessed. and you just know God has his hand in it, because we had no idea what the text was for the message that morning (it was easter, they figured we didn't need a text for that!) and so we just picked songs as the Lord led. well, the last song we sang fit perfectly with our pastor's closing words - almost verbatim! only Jesus.
i also visited britt's grave on friday. muddy, but much needed and good, in that sense.
only one more month of school....i can do it......
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
my SMIT boys :) 
just for kicks again, here are juyn and chuan. i met these adorable little boys in taiwan. their parents are the directors of YWAM Taoyuan and YWAM Taiwan. i had so much fun playing with them! the SMIT acronymn stands for "Samoan Made In Taiwan". these guys speak english, samoan and chinese. one of my favorite days of outreach was the last official ministry day. we went up "the mountain" to a park and did open-air evangelism all morning, then came back down and the afternoon erupted in a spontaneous water-fight, the biggest i've ever been in! it went through the building, onto the street, from the roof and then to the park! the park near our base had this huge square in front of the stage where water would come up in fountains every half hour or so. the sun was shining, we were all soaked in our regular clothes and laughing. joy. i love that memory. i can still see selena's face smiling with the sun behind her head and chuan directing the water so it sprayed in my face. and then we talked about sharks on the walk home. thanks for letting me share this story :)
just for kicks again, here are juyn and chuan. i met these adorable little boys in taiwan. their parents are the directors of YWAM Taoyuan and YWAM Taiwan. i had so much fun playing with them! the SMIT acronymn stands for "Samoan Made In Taiwan". these guys speak english, samoan and chinese. one of my favorite days of outreach was the last official ministry day. we went up "the mountain" to a park and did open-air evangelism all morning, then came back down and the afternoon erupted in a spontaneous water-fight, the biggest i've ever been in! it went through the building, onto the street, from the roof and then to the park! the park near our base had this huge square in front of the stage where water would come up in fountains every half hour or so. the sun was shining, we were all soaked in our regular clothes and laughing. joy. i love that memory. i can still see selena's face smiling with the sun behind her head and chuan directing the water so it sprayed in my face. and then we talked about sharks on the walk home. thanks for letting me share this story :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
my hands smell funny
i just finished my bio lab exam - praise the Lord, my labs are finished till september!!! at which point i will have to suffer once more....but that's a ways away yet! the reason my hands smell funny is that the lab tables always are washed with disinfectant and my nose hasn't been able to get the smell of preserved animals out of it's nostrils. so. everything smells a little off.
yesterday on the bus, while reading "Mad Mary" by Liz Curtis Higgs, i was struck by some of the questions she asked. most notably, "What might Jesus have meant when he said, 'take up your cross and follow me'? Could it be that only by suffering will we have true fellowship with him? That we should be willing to die for our faith? That we should welcome burdens and cares? Since someone else physically carried the cross for Jesus on the road to Golgotha, does that alter the meaning or significance of the statement he made before that desperate day?" honestly, very seldom do i try to put Jesus' teachings into context. i'm far more comfortable doing that with paul's letters and the early church. i realized that too often i read the gospels as each little section for itself, not taking note of what Jesus did before or after each teaching. it had never occured to me that Jesus told us to take up our cross before his disciples or anyone else had any idea he would die on a cross. this has definitely challenged me to read the gospels as story, and think about contextual significance, not just "deep" thoughts.
also, i was really encouraged by my friend crystal (stephen's older sister), on sunday. she is now a certified accountant, after 7 years, and trying to figure out where God wants her to use her skills. she told me she did this specifically so she could work with mission organizations. and then here's little me, who came back from missions to go to university and now is whining much of the time because i don't want to be in university, i want to go out again! i realized that if crystal can put in 7 years, working her butt off, and still be involved in missions, keeping the passion alive, i can finish another 4 years of school! because once i'm done i will have much more to give to the mission field, being a teacher. i think the real challenge for me is keeping my passion alive in this environment that challenges and shocks me daily! so, thank you, crystal.
now. let's all pray very much (we know how powerful it is!) because kourtnay says they have much blizzarding in saskatchewan - we don't want it here!
yesterday on the bus, while reading "Mad Mary" by Liz Curtis Higgs, i was struck by some of the questions she asked. most notably, "What might Jesus have meant when he said, 'take up your cross and follow me'? Could it be that only by suffering will we have true fellowship with him? That we should be willing to die for our faith? That we should welcome burdens and cares? Since someone else physically carried the cross for Jesus on the road to Golgotha, does that alter the meaning or significance of the statement he made before that desperate day?" honestly, very seldom do i try to put Jesus' teachings into context. i'm far more comfortable doing that with paul's letters and the early church. i realized that too often i read the gospels as each little section for itself, not taking note of what Jesus did before or after each teaching. it had never occured to me that Jesus told us to take up our cross before his disciples or anyone else had any idea he would die on a cross. this has definitely challenged me to read the gospels as story, and think about contextual significance, not just "deep" thoughts.
also, i was really encouraged by my friend crystal (stephen's older sister), on sunday. she is now a certified accountant, after 7 years, and trying to figure out where God wants her to use her skills. she told me she did this specifically so she could work with mission organizations. and then here's little me, who came back from missions to go to university and now is whining much of the time because i don't want to be in university, i want to go out again! i realized that if crystal can put in 7 years, working her butt off, and still be involved in missions, keeping the passion alive, i can finish another 4 years of school! because once i'm done i will have much more to give to the mission field, being a teacher. i think the real challenge for me is keeping my passion alive in this environment that challenges and shocks me daily! so, thank you, crystal.
now. let's all pray very much (we know how powerful it is!) because kourtnay says they have much blizzarding in saskatchewan - we don't want it here!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
thanks derek!
my guitar skills are improving, i must say. i now can strum in a different rhythm than my one basic up-down-up-down, AND i know how to play a B and C#minor! hence my title. although the c#m i should give credit to lori and kendra :) our practice at prov went really well - i loved the grand piano we used!!! pounding was so much fun! anyways, i'm very grateful to derek for his patience and to the poor people down the hall who had to hear us pounding away and alternately shrieking with laughter as we "practiced"! very enjoyable times, i must say. the hockey saturday morning was fun to watch, but only made us all want to be on the ice too. plus, they lost pretty badly, so that contributed to kendra and lori's desire to strut their intimidating-hockey-stuff!
man, i enjoyed church this morning. i'd never heard pastor aubrey give the message before and it was amazing. we sang my favorite song that i haven't sung in forever (lori and kendra can attest to that - everytime i see the chords i start to belt it out and tell them AGAIN that i love that song), and i saw paul, whom i haven't seen for over a month! and arm-dave and don and crystal. not too many people out, since it was the young adult's retreat this weekend. great teaching though, and fun times praising God!!!
it's been a good weekend. can you believe it's been 3 weeks since britt died? i was re-reading pictures and notes from her. what an amazing giver. i like to be reminded of how pumped and excited heaven will be! britt's there and if i enjoyed church this morning - WOW! heaven will rock this world. if we're fascinated with the things of this world and the beauty it contains, we will be blown away! on our knees, crying HOLY, HOLY, HOLY! God is all-powerful and HOLY! what a beautiful name, Jesus.
i bought a skirt in anticipation of summer, and i'm wearing today in response to the beautiful around-zero weather! not outside of course, bare legs wouldn't do, it's still too cold, but i can wear flip-flops inside and be happy with the sunshine through my window. and i am.
man, i enjoyed church this morning. i'd never heard pastor aubrey give the message before and it was amazing. we sang my favorite song that i haven't sung in forever (lori and kendra can attest to that - everytime i see the chords i start to belt it out and tell them AGAIN that i love that song), and i saw paul, whom i haven't seen for over a month! and arm-dave and don and crystal. not too many people out, since it was the young adult's retreat this weekend. great teaching though, and fun times praising God!!!
it's been a good weekend. can you believe it's been 3 weeks since britt died? i was re-reading pictures and notes from her. what an amazing giver. i like to be reminded of how pumped and excited heaven will be! britt's there and if i enjoyed church this morning - WOW! heaven will rock this world. if we're fascinated with the things of this world and the beauty it contains, we will be blown away! on our knees, crying HOLY, HOLY, HOLY! God is all-powerful and HOLY! what a beautiful name, Jesus.
i bought a skirt in anticipation of summer, and i'm wearing today in response to the beautiful around-zero weather! not outside of course, bare legs wouldn't do, it's still too cold, but i can wear flip-flops inside and be happy with the sunshine through my window. and i am.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
do i look old enough to be a trustee?
so i just got back from 4 hours in workshops with the Manitoba Association of School Trustees. i followed my aunt hilda around because my dad won't be in meetings till tonight. and now i am officially finished my professional development hours for the faculty of education!!! for the year, anyways. and tonight i'm going to become a biology geek and study annelids, nematodes, and planarians. my lab exam is next week tuesday. i may also have to give in to temptation and watch the world figure skating championships....yes, i may have to do that!
so i really enjoy pictures. and i'm going to keep posting them even though their mostly from my DTS. those are the only pictures i have on my computer right now. once i have time i'll scan some new ones at my parents house. this one is at my "graduation" from dts. steve (school leader) is on the left and dan, my big "brother" is on the right. and there i am in the middle with baby drool on my shirt...but it's okay, cuz i love babies!
me and the boys
so everyone enjoy your day. enjoy the rare sunshine and pray it will stay! and if you have the chance, listen to some luke hendrickson. amazing music!
so i really enjoy pictures. and i'm going to keep posting them even though their mostly from my DTS. those are the only pictures i have on my computer right now. once i have time i'll scan some new ones at my parents house. this one is at my "graduation" from dts. steve (school leader) is on the left and dan, my big "brother" is on the right. and there i am in the middle with baby drool on my shirt...but it's okay, cuz i love babies!
me and the boys
so everyone enjoy your day. enjoy the rare sunshine and pray it will stay! and if you have the chance, listen to some luke hendrickson. amazing music!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
me and my kids in taiwan :)
here is my very first attempt at posting pictures. aren't my kids the cutest? jessica is on the left, vicky and brian on the right. oh for the days of heat in taiwan...never thought i'd miss sweating all the time! too bad vicky isn't wearing one of her cute funny english t-shirts. my favorite was one that said "the time for a good party" that's it. that's all it said!
here is my very first attempt at posting pictures. aren't my kids the cutest? jessica is on the left, vicky and brian on the right. oh for the days of heat in taiwan...never thought i'd miss sweating all the time! too bad vicky isn't wearing one of her cute funny english t-shirts. my favorite was one that said "the time for a good party" that's it. that's all it said!
dreams will be very sweet now
"we would be as good as dead if we had nothing left to dream about." ~ l.m. montgomery (Anne of Avonlea)
i think the hard times come when we forget our dreams. doubt, discouragement, discontentment all come when we lose sight of our dreams. desire has a lot to do with dreams. wow, check out my alliteration! really, though, i'm re-reading all the Anne of Green Gables books, and i just finished the one where Gilbert proposes and Anne finally accepts. mmm. it's always been a dream of mine to be married. to love passionately and be loved. to be beloved. the past year i've caught glimpses of that dream and lived it in Christ. but the dry times of lately have dampened my dream. in the sense that i've lost sight of the passionate intimate love of Christ and me, looking forward instead to an earthly romance. not to say it's wrong to want a "special someone", but it's so much more fulfilling to seek Christ! but i find it so easy to ignore that. there is no one like my God! He is able to present me faultless without blame in the presence of the Trinity, he is all-encompassing and he wants intimacy with me. forgive me, Jesus, for avoiding you. you are my dream.
i have so much to be thankful for! today is Annie's birthday - smiles and hugs across the atlantic ocean for her! or i guess they could go across the pacific and the indian ocean too...
i'm so excited to lead worship on easter sunday, we've got a great group of girls :) thanks melissa, for playing piano for us! easter will be a great celebration - yeehaw! and i get to watch hockey this weekend :) i love that game! and sing some more! my life is really overflowing with blessing - each of you is one of them!
i think the hard times come when we forget our dreams. doubt, discouragement, discontentment all come when we lose sight of our dreams. desire has a lot to do with dreams. wow, check out my alliteration! really, though, i'm re-reading all the Anne of Green Gables books, and i just finished the one where Gilbert proposes and Anne finally accepts. mmm. it's always been a dream of mine to be married. to love passionately and be loved. to be beloved. the past year i've caught glimpses of that dream and lived it in Christ. but the dry times of lately have dampened my dream. in the sense that i've lost sight of the passionate intimate love of Christ and me, looking forward instead to an earthly romance. not to say it's wrong to want a "special someone", but it's so much more fulfilling to seek Christ! but i find it so easy to ignore that. there is no one like my God! He is able to present me faultless without blame in the presence of the Trinity, he is all-encompassing and he wants intimacy with me. forgive me, Jesus, for avoiding you. you are my dream.
i have so much to be thankful for! today is Annie's birthday - smiles and hugs across the atlantic ocean for her! or i guess they could go across the pacific and the indian ocean too...
i'm so excited to lead worship on easter sunday, we've got a great group of girls :) thanks melissa, for playing piano for us! easter will be a great celebration - yeehaw! and i get to watch hockey this weekend :) i love that game! and sing some more! my life is really overflowing with blessing - each of you is one of them!
Friday, March 11, 2005
it's birthday month!
HUGE HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TO KENDRA AND JULIA!
i love you girls and pray for God's increased revelation, compassion and joy in your next year!!
so now i have to write my entry all over again, because something went wrong with this dear thing i sometimes i hate called my computer.
pretty much, i'm ready to be done school. let's all hang out at the end of april when all this is over with. i'm going home this weekend again, it'll be busy. but hey, i do it do myself as my mom likes to remind me :)
enjoy your weekend- sang-ti chu fu ni!
(God bless you! in mandarin)
i love you girls and pray for God's increased revelation, compassion and joy in your next year!!
so now i have to write my entry all over again, because something went wrong with this dear thing i sometimes i hate called my computer.
pretty much, i'm ready to be done school. let's all hang out at the end of april when all this is over with. i'm going home this weekend again, it'll be busy. but hey, i do it do myself as my mom likes to remind me :)
enjoy your weekend- sang-ti chu fu ni!
(God bless you! in mandarin)
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
discipline of desire?
thinking about my title. the desire. it's my belief that what you desire shapes your life. today as i was flicking through channels over lunch i saw "the fabulous life of justin timberlake". and i was shocked by what i saw. the amount of extravagance, the lack of consideration for others, be it directly or indirectly and the total self-absorption. it made me feel dirty. i kept thinking "why would anyone want to even own 500 pairs of runners? why would anyone want to have so many different girls and have stores shut everyone else out so they can shop?" truth is, i don't know. i suppose myself in that situation could be trapped by the materialism too. i thank God that his grace has changed me. obviously, if you desire material fulfillment and recognition, you can get it. what you desire shapes how you live your life. even if your selfish desires aren't fulfilled to the extreme like mr. timberlake there, the striving for those desires will shape how you live. is my desire what i really want it to be? i know that sounds redundant or something, but really. when i look at my life, the things i do, what is driving them? what am i investing my time in? because that will tell you what you desire. you can only surrender completely to God when you desire to believe - passionately, as nothing else you desire. and i want my life to be surrendered to God, for his purpose.
i'm so thankful for the truth that has been evidenced in my life. for the friends i have. holly, your comments arent' working, so i'll tell you here. i am SO GLAD you came out for the weekend, and i love you too. i think i found the music i want at my wedding - of course, this is far in the future, but nonetheless, it is incredible music. i even walked across my apartment in my sweats pretending to be gorgeous and radiant. then i thought, i also want this at my funeral. bride of Christ!! the radiance in that is something only hinted at in earthly relationships and intimacy! here's a quote about love my cousin sent me in one of those mass forwards...but i found it special, becuase without trust, there can be no true love or intimacy. and that is the desire of my heart - intimacy with the Trinity.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
can't wait for heaven and the name that is mine alone from Jesus himself!
i'm so thankful for the truth that has been evidenced in my life. for the friends i have. holly, your comments arent' working, so i'll tell you here. i am SO GLAD you came out for the weekend, and i love you too. i think i found the music i want at my wedding - of course, this is far in the future, but nonetheless, it is incredible music. i even walked across my apartment in my sweats pretending to be gorgeous and radiant. then i thought, i also want this at my funeral. bride of Christ!! the radiance in that is something only hinted at in earthly relationships and intimacy! here's a quote about love my cousin sent me in one of those mass forwards...but i found it special, becuase without trust, there can be no true love or intimacy. and that is the desire of my heart - intimacy with the Trinity.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
can't wait for heaven and the name that is mine alone from Jesus himself!
Monday, March 07, 2005
good, but hard
that was my weekend. maybe intense would be a better word. the funeral was beautiful. really. looking back i see myself crying, and again last night, but the first word into my head is beautiful. the perspective and spirit of the mourning was bang-on. truly, "beauty from ashes, joy from pain". God has reached down and touched us once again, in the midst of pain. The Lord is gracious and compassionate. slow to anger and rich in love. the Lord is good to all. the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. amen! i so enjoyed being able to see people at the funeral, to connect. i realized once again that i am very relationship-oriented! maybe that's why living in winnipeg has been challenging for me. my family is an hour away, and i only have one roomie, who is very busy and often gone. this whole last week i cried, but i cried alone. i know for some people it's different, but for that reason, the funeral was good for me, because i could share my tears, i could hug my friends and i could talk. about brittany, about heaven. i miss being constantly surrounded by people. university doesn't count.
the whole weekend was exhausting emotionally. church was amazing. thank you Jesus. i've been learning about true joy. as oswald chambers says, " Joy comes from seeing the complete fulfillment of the specific purpose for which i was created and born again, not from successfully doing something of my own choosing....the things we try to avoid and fight against - tribulation, suffering, and persecution - are the very things that produce abundant joy in us." We are more than conquerors because of these things! i'm so glad i can be confident in Christ.
it was so good to see holly and phil again. and christine peters and meagan, and lots of other people i don't see often. and i met steven alexander's girlfriend! granted, i had to initiate an introduction :) hmmm. driving to winnipeg was an adventure yesterday, but thank the Lord, we arrived safely. i miss holding babies. i really do. and at this point, my thoughts will become more and more random. i love my family! i also love pictures, although not from wal-mart. i am now representing superstore - much better at developing my pictures! i played guitar last night until my hands were shaking and aching. it felt good. eva is in malawi with annie now. i love those girls, be with them, Holy Spirit. hmm. i feel surrounded and relaxed in the love of Jesus. beautiful, isn't it?
the whole weekend was exhausting emotionally. church was amazing. thank you Jesus. i've been learning about true joy. as oswald chambers says, " Joy comes from seeing the complete fulfillment of the specific purpose for which i was created and born again, not from successfully doing something of my own choosing....the things we try to avoid and fight against - tribulation, suffering, and persecution - are the very things that produce abundant joy in us." We are more than conquerors because of these things! i'm so glad i can be confident in Christ.
it was so good to see holly and phil again. and christine peters and meagan, and lots of other people i don't see often. and i met steven alexander's girlfriend! granted, i had to initiate an introduction :) hmmm. driving to winnipeg was an adventure yesterday, but thank the Lord, we arrived safely. i miss holding babies. i really do. and at this point, my thoughts will become more and more random. i love my family! i also love pictures, although not from wal-mart. i am now representing superstore - much better at developing my pictures! i played guitar last night until my hands were shaking and aching. it felt good. eva is in malawi with annie now. i love those girls, be with them, Holy Spirit. hmm. i feel surrounded and relaxed in the love of Jesus. beautiful, isn't it?
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
it's okay to cry
God will save you, boy
You just have to believe
That beautiful things will come
from broken times just like these
God could save you, girl
In this desert time of need
Just lay your ashes down
In hope of what you'll receive
it's okay to cry
it's okay to wonder why
And as your tears fall down,
they heal the ground
A place that once was dry
God will save us now
Let His presence bring us peace
Lay your burdens down
Let them fall at His feet
The fears are great in your mind
our heart just aches for a sign
But there is hope and there is grace
In these gray skies
it's okay to cry...
~ larue
You just have to believe
That beautiful things will come
from broken times just like these
God could save you, girl
In this desert time of need
Just lay your ashes down
In hope of what you'll receive
it's okay to cry
it's okay to wonder why
And as your tears fall down,
they heal the ground
A place that once was dry
God will save us now
Let His presence bring us peace
Lay your burdens down
Let them fall at His feet
The fears are great in your mind
our heart just aches for a sign
But there is hope and there is grace
In these gray skies
it's okay to cry...
~ larue
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
spirit
with beauty comes much pain, but i never really realized it. i understood it in the context of the joy of growing in Jesus, and the truth of the holy spirit (the pain being conviction, making changes, denying self), but this is a whole new playing field. i know brittany is in heaven, dancing with Jesus. and yet it hurts so much. yesterday afternoon i cried and cried as i thought about her in heaven. and i smiled while i cried, but i sobbed like a baby. i don't understand why it hurts so much to know she is intimate with Christ. maybe the overwhelmingness of the joy and intimacy she's experiencing is so spiritual that it manifests in our physical body in pain. crying, not being able to breathe. humanity has truly fallen. God's plan for us is the only perfect thing. i'm so thankful he has given us redemption even though at creation we invited death to stay. God is truly good. Lord, your joy is what i want. give us just a taste of what britt, jordan and jamie are experiencing. remind us we are under your wing. we may not be rescued as britt was from this world, but we are covered. and if this is an attack from the devil to discourage us, i say Jesus Christ is victorious! the blood of Christ is sufficient for our redemption and full of power! we will not be discouraged, we will not be down hearted. we will hurt, but we will trust God for his love endures forever! our God reigns!
brittany, we'll miss you, we love you - thank you for loving Jesus and radiating his love to others!
brittany, we'll miss you, we love you - thank you for loving Jesus and radiating his love to others!
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