good, but hard

that was my weekend. maybe intense would be a better word. the funeral was beautiful. really. looking back i see myself crying, and again last night, but the first word into my head is beautiful. the perspective and spirit of the mourning was bang-on. truly, "beauty from ashes, joy from pain". God has reached down and touched us once again, in the midst of pain. The Lord is gracious and compassionate. slow to anger and rich in love. the Lord is good to all. the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. amen! i so enjoyed being able to see people at the funeral, to connect. i realized once again that i am very relationship-oriented! maybe that's why living in winnipeg has been challenging for me. my family is an hour away, and i only have one roomie, who is very busy and often gone. this whole last week i cried, but i cried alone. i know for some people it's different, but for that reason, the funeral was good for me, because i could share my tears, i could hug my friends and i could talk. about brittany, about heaven. i miss being constantly surrounded by people. university doesn't count.

the whole weekend was exhausting emotionally. church was amazing. thank you Jesus. i've been learning about true joy. as oswald chambers says, " Joy comes from seeing the complete fulfillment of the specific purpose for which i was created and born again, not from successfully doing something of my own choosing....the things we try to avoid and fight against - tribulation, suffering, and persecution - are the very things that produce abundant joy in us." We are more than conquerors because of these things! i'm so glad i can be confident in Christ.

it was so good to see holly and phil again. and christine peters and meagan, and lots of other people i don't see often. and i met steven alexander's girlfriend! granted, i had to initiate an introduction :) hmmm. driving to winnipeg was an adventure yesterday, but thank the Lord, we arrived safely. i miss holding babies. i really do. and at this point, my thoughts will become more and more random. i love my family! i also love pictures, although not from wal-mart. i am now representing superstore - much better at developing my pictures! i played guitar last night until my hands were shaking and aching. it felt good. eva is in malawi with annie now. i love those girls, be with them, Holy Spirit. hmm. i feel surrounded and relaxed in the love of Jesus. beautiful, isn't it?