my old diary

i recently re-discovered my diary from Gr. 6 to Gr. 8.

what fun! i was very dramatic at the time (not much has changed). here's an excerpt that made me smile:

8:52 p.m. November 10, 1997 - Monday

I was (am) babysitting the little girls [our nickname for my younger sisters] and while I was drying Carrilee, she was looking at me, and said "My, what nice green eyes you have!" I could hardly control my laughter! Then she looked at her wrinkled hands and said "I'm a grandma." and I said "What a small grandma." She said, very seriously, "Yes, I've been in the washing machine for 1000 days."

my diary also contains some incriminating information. i was a very opinionated 12-year old!

starving and feasting

the christian life is full of contradictions. maybe contradictions isn't the right word.

the christian life is full of oxymoronic metaphors and expectations that are life-changing, but look a little crazy sometimes.

for example:

christ died to give us life

we gain eternal life by giving up our sinful life

we give up earthly food to receive food that feeds our spirits

God chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. sometimes, as a follower of Christ, it is easy to wonder "why am i doing this?" when all around us people think we're crazy. what doesn't make sense (or seems contradictory) to this world, is often exactly what we need to make sense of our lives in light of eternity.

"to starve is to feast" ~ shane bernard

only by starving my sinful nature can i experience the wonderful feast of God's grace and love.

starve is a strong word. i need to starve my selfish desire to be "right" all the time in order to feast on the love that comes from restored relationships. i need to starve my desire to harbour anger or bitterness so i can feast on forgiveness and freedom. i need to starve my desire for control in order to feast on resting securely in God's plans for me.

here's to starving and feasting.