because we win, we fight a losing battle

sometimes i feel like that. like why do we even decide to push so hard to have same-sex marriages NOT made legal, when we honestly can't expect a government that doesnt' care about Christ, or the Spirit to hold themselves to our standards. our perspective is different than theirs. i totally think that as constituents our MP's should represent our views. and yet, i feel as though it's almost pointless. the world is corrupt. the world is full of deceit and lies. somewhere, sometime, yes, even in glorious Canada, things that shock and disturb us will become accepted and alright. we win. Christ IS VICTORIOUS! the world may "win" it's little battles here, but in the end, it's all lost. so why are we pushing so hard to make them do what we, believers filled with the Spirit of Truth, would do? i do not believe homosexuality is right. just as deceit isn't right. just as adultery isn't right. but we've let all that fall by the wayside, too, haven't we? adultery used to be punishable by death. now, it's encouraged and promoted. where's the outrage there? where's the "let's do all we can to stop the government from allowing people to lie in court!"?

as a disciple of Christ, i believe my life, surrendered to God, is to be His vessel. empty, yet filled and overflowing with his truth and love. and that, seen in my life, is what will make the difference. it is that, complete surrender and obedience in the followers of Christ, that will change this world. that will transform and revolutionize this system of how society does things. i guess the question is then, is that really why we write letters and talk about how horrible it is. are we outraged because it's "just not right or biblical", or are we outraged, no, ashamed, because we realize how often we ourselves allow a lie like that to creep into our life? the challenge for me is to live completely surrendered. to live without my worldly perspective, to live by the Spirit and pray in the Spirit regarding all these things. not to become proud or angry about how the world sins, but to petition God, to stand in the gap for those who do not realize his truth. to pray unceasingly and worship with true devotion. that's my challenge.
oh man. i totally wasn't expecting that all to come out. i'm glad it did. now i'm going to bed. happy birthday mom!

invalid password

so my computer won't hook up to the internet...bad computer. but here i am at school, procrastinating till my psych experiment. this morning i was reading 1 Corinthians on the bus, and these nicely dressed guys came on, were very friendly to an older lady, and then talked to me. well, one of them did. asked where i was reading, told me it was "awesome" that i had made good friends and found a good church, and was reading the bible. so i thought, "what a nice boy". he said he was from missouri, on missions in western canada for 2 years. he had just spent 6 months in saskatchewan. then....he pulled out a little piece of paper, saying they had a movie i could watch, and if not, i could keep the card as a bookmark, it had a nice picture of Jesus on the front. i looked on the back, and what do you know? it's the church of latter day saints. website is something-or-other mormon.org. last week i got a package from a nice old lady who talked to me on the phone. a jehovah's witness.

i have no idea where i'm going with any of this, but it's interesting. i've been dealing a lot with truth, and what lies from the enemy are, and so to have these people approach me and to know their idea of truth is close to, but radically different than mine, is food for thought.

Rob and Janet had a baby girl!!! Morgan Paige. 9 pounds. born on feb. 22, 2005. i'm so happy!!! i'm going home this weekend, and hopefully we'll get to hold the baby!!! that's right, kendra. hold the baby!!! i love babies :)

tonight the mask of zorro is on tbs. i don't care if i have to study for art history tomorrow, i am watching. antonio! the children are crying in the van! (those of you on the chicago mission trip may remember what i'm talking about...)
nice talking to y'all...

the secret to a man's soul

no, i have not discovered that elusive but compelling mystery. however, i am reading "wild at heart" by john eldredge. allow me to share...

"...every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil....There is a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty, and be delighted in.

...God wants to be loved. He wants to be a priority to someone...the cry of God's heart is, "why won't you choose me?" It is amazing to me how humble, how vulnerable God is on this point...and certainly we see that God wants not merely an adventure, but an adventure to share....
Eve embodies the beauty and the mystery and the tender vulnerability of God."

so that's amazing. and profound. it reinforces my thoughts on lots of things, namely that male and female were created in the image of God. together, they complement each other and portray God. that's why broken relationships, especially marriages, hurt so much. a woman on her own can raise a family, but it's hard. men and women were created to be together. to work together, to show the truth of the Trinity together. "strength and beauty. As the psalmist says, 'One thing God has spoken, two things have i heard: that you, O God, are strong, and that you, O Lord, are loving.' (Psalm 62:11-12)"

truth is important. it's not relative, it's not defined by this world. it is the beginning, and the end, which is not even an end, because life is eternal. the word is truth, and Christ is the word. seek truth!

and hey, as the trend is going, pursue comments as well!!! :)

today never happened

so i went to the doctor yesterday, and he was sure that i DIDN'T need to remove my mole. so i haven't. lori's going to see him today about her mole, so we'll see what he says :) yesterday i went to visit mrs. rempel with kendra and lori... what a sweet, talkative lady! we had a "drinking" party, tea, cookies and all! and then she gave us angel figurines :) from buck'r'two, but sweet nonetheless! after that...oh wait, the funniest part! we went to see Hitch after we left her house, but when we were there, guess what was on her kitchen table.........??? can't guess??? a seniors ticket to see Hitch!!!! our dear old 80 years young mrs. rempel went to see Hitch!!!! we were quite amused. you try watching a movie, imagining an 80 year old woman beside you :) good times. as usual, we ended up at lori's afterwards, trying incredibly hard to stay focussed and talk about things in a composed, mature manner.....but hey, after 12, what can you do?

well. i wish i had more thoughts to share with you that aren't just random happenings in my life, but today i don't. enjoy your day regardless, i'm sure there are deep thoughts out there waiting for you to snatch them out of obscurity and make them famous!

6 months later...

...and i challenge myself. the day i left my DTS, we wrote letters to ourselves. i received mine this weekend. at first i was really weirded out by a letter from alberta, to me, in my handwriting...and then it all came back :) interesting to read. i would say some of the goals i set for myself have definitely been answered, and others have been put aside, but not forgotten. jennie said to herself, and i quote, "whatever you're doing is great!" and i think tarah wrote "you'd better be engaged by now!". how was that for you guys? wow. i can't believe it's been 6 months. in another month, it will be a year since i left. and it feels so recent. i miss you guys with all my heart, and yet it feels like it all happened in the distant past of yesterday. funny how music takes you to memories. i was listening to Now is the Time, heather clark, etc., and when i closed my eyes, i was at the ranch. then i listened to jason upton, and the mystery vineyard cd....all in a row, and i get pretty nostalgic!

i'm home now for a week! it feels soo good. i slept till 1100 today. it was beautiful! and now i have the whole day to do....NOTHING! truly amazing!! i think i'm going to make valentines from foam - my mom bought sheets of pink, white, purple and red foamy stuff that you can cut and glue and we have glitter glue to make it even prettier! that's my agenda for the day. and then tomorrow, it's off to visit mrs. rempel and have my mole removed. in the reverse order. maybe today i will also unpack and clean my room...not as fun as making valentines :)

and hey! people weren't too keen on me chatting with bus drivers, hey? don't worry, when i say he knows where i live, i mean i told him i was going home to winkler. very broad terms. okay, so my sister is coming over to do homework on our computer, so i'll get off for now. Lord, be with eva, jenny, andrea and michelle, and the whole team in mexico! give them boldness and joy for you!

super-fantastic!

my bus driver rocks! he was so excited this morning that he beat the 55 and got to our bus stop before, and we were waiting!!! funny, funny man :) he was in a very talkative mood. he now knows where i live, what classes i'm in, when i go home, and i know all about his daughter, his work schedule and his wife. and we don't know each others' names! but it's a good friendship anyways :)

cannot wait to go home for reading week!!! this last week d-r-a-g-g-e-d by. except for bible study on wednesday and supper at montana's yesterday! rachael, you are truly beautiful and i appreciate you and i hope your birthday today is blessed and enjoyable!

last night steph and i stayed up till 12, listening to songs, dancing to them, and planning dramas to some of them....i would love to do some of that in iowa, if it works out for me to go with our youth group this summer!!! oh, i get so excited to do things like that! missions and kids = marcia is very happy!!

okay. i have pyschology....i still hate psychology....always and forever :) mmm. enjoy the wonderful weather today! i think this week on my list of things to do, i will include walking every day, playing with our dog along with the afore-mentioned hockey (!) and visiting mrs. rempel. oh yes. and the mole-removing. let's not think about that. hockey! beautiful weather! walks!

"for the message of the cross i s foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are saved, it is the POWER OF GOD!" ~ 1 corinthians 1:18
amen!

mood swings?

i didn't know i had them. but apparently, now i do. eek. scary stuff. last night i was all prepared to write my essay. i didn't. then i called my mom, and we talked and i got depressed. not cuz my mom did anything, she didn't, not at all. she actually did very nice things for me. for example, she dropped off my registration for the food safe course. but the depressing thing was that i didn't really want to go and spend 8 hours in portage listening to someone tell me how to wash my hands and handle food when i've been there for a year! my mom also made an appointment to have my mole checked out. well, again, i've been planning to do this for awhile, but then i realized, if i get it removed, i have to go to the hospital and get needles and "surgery"!! that also made me not so happy. but! then after i was gloomy for a few minutes, i called my little sister back, and she told me about her life, and it made me happy again! and then i went for a long walk with steph and i was tired, but happy. i feel almost as if i'm reliving my teen years, because i never went through the boy-crazy, mood-swing time. Oh Lord, i pray not!

my sweater smells funny. and that is not helping me want to be at school right now either. oh, man, but i'm whiny today! i have bible study tonight!!! happy thoughts, happy thoughts....i get to go home in 2 days!!! janet will have her baby soon!! i finished the baby hat!!! i started annie's coming home present!!! i'll probably get to play hockey in a week!! jen and eva are going to mexico!!! okay. how was that for happy thoughts? thank you. oh, but this mole has caused me trouble....

mysteries solved!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
~ Isaiah 55:8-9

Annie sent me a postcard and a letter this last week! this was the verse she shared with me, it's on a pretty paper, and written in malawian (or whatever african language they speak there!) on the back :) but it's so true, for this time especially. more than ever, i've been worried about timing, when stuff will happen, should i do these things now, what are my plans! God comes through. his thoughts and plans are higher and better than mine. he'll bring things to pass when i least expect it, this i know to be true! starfield concerts come to mind ;) but seriously. we have the mind of Christ, and yet, as humans we are still incomplete. not until our bodies and souls are made perfect as our spirits are, will we be complete. so for now, there is trust that must be built between me and God. His ways are higher, deeper and better. what we think is normal christianity needs to be changed! our guest speaker on sunday challenged me hardcore - normal, real christianity brings persecution. period. it is passionate and consuming! apathy will only be killed through a passionate return to the radical and revolutionary word of God! Revive us, O Lord! and i may say that with a slight grin, because in responsive readings at church it sounds so dead, but it is the cry of my heart! and i don't measure up, but i want to! and because i have been sanctified, redeemed and released, i can! thank you Jesus!

okay, now i have to go and study the life cycles of fungi, water molds and angiosperms. now there are some mysteries i would like solved!

desire, surrender, believe!

i'm reading ted dekker right now. good books that i avoided for a long time. worth a read, that's for sure. tomorrow i go home for the weekend. we're singing in church on sunday! that's pretty exciting...right, kenrdra?

anyways. i should go to bed. i "studied" for psychology all evening....ie. i watched kate & leopold on tv, got into a pretty sappy mood, played guitar, crocheted my baby hat a bit more (for rob & janet's baby!) and ate a granola bar.

but it's off to bed for this procrasinator... truly, look at the title. it's profound; you should read ted dekker & bill bright's books....
are you truly believing if you aren't surrendered? if you don't desire, do you really believe? hey, that even ties in with kate & leopold....oh dear.

good night :)