spiritual houses

k, i just read 1 peter and 2 peter last night. i don't have time to go into it all, but it resonated!! and challenged me. and my pastor in winkler preached on failure on sunday as well. and i feel like i've failed on various levels, especially in my family relationships. and that ties in, seeing as peter was the one who denied Christ three times, and yet became an important and devoted leader!! what i really like too is that at the end of John, Jesus asks peter three times if he loves him. our love for Christ and commitment to feeding his sheep is more important than our failures.

anyway, i said i didn't have the time for more. just wanted to let everyone know that i have found a place to live in the city for may, while i work for the camp. praise God - answer to prayers!! i'll be living in georgetown apts, with joelle zacharias. once i have a new phone number and those details for you, i'll let everyone in on that. also - i'm getting better at driving my little jetta!! i've even gone into town with it and not stalled the entire time. praise the Lord!!
k, off to do more errands.....

these are the women with whom i spent a fabulous weekend in march. each of them has been an inspiration to me and reflected the truth of Christ in their lives. i am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends.

". . . the joy of the Lord is your strength" ( Nehemiah 8:10 )

No power on earth or in hell can conquer the Spirit of God living within the human spirit; it creates an inner invincibility.
~ oswald chamber

i liked that.

am i crazy?

i think more than one person has asked that. of me, that is. today it is gorgeous outside. and i am inside. i had a nap, and now i'm catching up on the internet world after being at home with mom and dad for well, a day.

this morning i took my little sisters to church in my jetta. stalled at EVERY stop sign. not kidding. i need some practice!!

my head is just too full of everything.

and to further the rumour that i'm crazy...

my spOOn is too big! my spoon is TOO big! my SPoon is too BIg!

so happy!!

well today has been a GOOD day. a GOOD day. started off with a shower - always a good thing (especially considering i'd gone a day or so without one....exams, you know!). i then did the frustrating cramming for the morning before my exam.

after writing my mennonite studies exam, i braced myself to go and get my final paper. i was so sure i bombed it, and i was trying to prepare myself for a C+ or something of the sort. so i took the paper, smiled at my prof, and headed out the door without looking at the mark. then, as i walked down the hall and checked my mark i began to laugh. yes, out loud. by myself.....i got an A+!!!!! i was completely floored. but happy!!!

tonight a dear friend of mine came over to go for a walk. as we walked and snapped some "interesting" pictures on the river and at the legislature, we also talked. and through our talk, i learned something about myself. God is so good and always faithful! i am so very happy to say that one my struggles with being interested in a certain guy is OVER. i was so concerned that i liked the idea of him, not him, and it was distracting me from enjoying my frienships. over the last weeks, i'd been slowly letting go of it....and with our conversation tonight, it was confirmed that it has been let go! i am no longer bound by the fear that if i let go of my idea/ideals, nothing better will come along. i was reminded that there are more fish in the sea. and i can completely trust in my Jesus that love is not something i will have to live without. while it is fun sometimes to be interested in or attracted to a boy, or have a crush, it is also fun to not have that worry! i feel so good right now. i wish i could bottle this feeling for next week's exams!!

oh and to top off my lovely evening, we bought some icecream and sat on the stoop of our apartment building, devouring 2 litres of icecream between 4 girls. looking a little like fools, but enjoying making those walking by feel foolish for looking at us as if we were crazy!
how i feel right now...

me myself and i

sometimes i frustrate myself.

i so badly want to "die to self" and have all of me burned away so that all of Christ is all that's left. and then i find myself trying to do it on my own ability. that defeats the whole purpose!! i try so hard to understand other people so i can love them better. but i often end up being offended by them because i can't truly understand them from my selfish perspective. i start to think that i'm better because if i were in that situation, i would not act that way. that attitude is, of course, simply pride and me falling right back into the trap of not loving them because all i think about is me.

so here's my new resolution: to love others, not through my own understanding of their behaviour or atttitudes, but to love others better by loving God. that is the first and greatest commandment. loving God brings revelation and the ability to love, which is given to us by him to begin with in order to love him! this is my hope then: to love God better and more each day.

are you waiting for something else? i know i am.

sarah harmer

wow. all i can say. incredible, amazing, delighful, insightful....and all other synonyms this english student can't think of right now. aaand what she said.

take me away

I said I want to touch the earth
I want to break it in my hands
I want to grow something wild and unruly

I want to sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of blue bonnets
And a blanket made of stars
Oh it sounds good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above
And closer to you

I want to walk and not run
I want to skip and not fall
I want to look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile
Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

~ martie seidel and marcus hummon

5000!!!

i hit 5000 words. now to make these words make sense.

CONQUERED!!!

that's right.
no, wait, it's not. i'm not done the paper.
but i have "conquested" a small area of my dreams/goals/hopes for this year. and yes, yes, my new last name is Bush, as the word creation suggests.
oh dee.

this paper!!!!!

paaaaaaaper

sometimes i surprise myself with what i will do to figure something out.

i used to never really get embarrassed. sure, i did embarrassing things, but it didn't faze me. i'm okay with myself and my silliness. recently though, i have done more than one embarrassing thing that actually made my face turn red. i'm still okay with laughing at myself, so all is well, but it is strange to feel embarrassed, since i usually don't.

i have this policy that everything i think ought to be able to be shared with anyone. but just now i did something which i find hilarious, but i can't tell anyone! cuz it'd be, number one - embarrassing. aaaand that's pretty much it. actually, those who know me very well would only shake their heads and say 'ohmygoodness marcia - you really are naive and crazy'

hmmm. so now i sit alone in my apartment, laughing and chuckling to myself, viewing my stupidity as not immaturity or even stupidity, but rather silliness. a sign that i enjoy life, i'm curious and i like laughing and figuring things out.

and also for those of you who know me well ....yes, i will probably not keep you in suspense much longer. it's so fun to laugh with people that i don't mind if it takes making a fool out of myself to do it!

speaking of foolish, i'm procrastinating writing my paper. i wish you could hear the song "undignified" right now. if you want to follow the links....go here. then click on the lime cd.