wanna ride bikes?

i know i do.

holiness in intercession

The reason many of us leave off praying and become hard towards God is because we have only a sentimental interest in prayer. It sounds right to say that we pray; we read books on prayer which tell us that prayer is beneficial, that our minds are quieted and our souls uplifted when we pray; but Isaiah implies that God is amazed at such thoughts of prayer.

Worship and intercession must go together, the one is impossible without the other. Intercession means that we rouse ourselves up to get the mind of Christ about the one for whom we pray. Too often instead of worshipping God, we construct statements as to how prayer works. Are we worshipping or are we in dispute with God - "I don't see how You are going to do it." This is a sure sign that we are not worshipping. When we lose sight of God we become hard and dogmatic. We hurl our own petitions at God's throne and dictate to Him as to what we wish Him to do. We do not worship God, nor do we seek to form the mind of Christ. If we are hard towards God, we will become hard towards other people.

Are we so worshipping God that we rouse ourselves up to lay hold on Him so that we may be brought into contact with His mind about the ones for whom we pray?
~ oswald chambers

this morning i had a bit of revelation. and my friend just added to it.

i was thinking about my decisions, and the importance of certain decisions in my life. decisions that I will live for Christ, reflect his love, and all the rest. and it occurred to me that one decision i make will not change the rest of my life. my decision to trust Jesus, my salvation decision, essentially, will not alone change the rest of my life.

but that decision should change the way i make the rest of my decisions. and THAT will change my life.

thank you Jesus for grace. thank you that i never can fail with you holding me. thank you that as i make decisions for you, saying YES to you, you pour your grace over me. i love you and good night.

wow, my last post was a rambler. this is the busiest most stressful week of my life. and i'm still pretty happy!

i'm done my invertebrates lab exam, so now it's just papers papers and web project. woot.

sometimes i have to wonder at my decision making skills. annie put a little note on our white board in the apartment. it says "marcia, make your own decisions!"

i know my family thinks i'm crazy when i find something i want to do that requires more money than i have, or makes less than i need, but i dream and talk about it all the time anyway. and then somehow, it all works out. even when i'm disappointed. i didn't get to go to jen's wedding, but i'm glad i could dream about it and imagine it. i'm not really much of a risk-taker, so my dreaming nature doesn't seem to actually fit that part of me. but yet, this summer, i just up and decided to work at a camp i've never spent a summer at. that's a risk and a huge decision!! and it's just now really hitting me that i'm doing this! i'm not nervous, not at all. but it's funny how hard it is for me to decide some things, while others i just let happen!

a few months ago, i was planning to make a lot of money this summer, since i didn't last summer. but here i am, working at camp all summer. and i'm so excited!! one of the things that bothers me most about life is not being able to understand where the other person is coming from. i want to help people, but it's so hard to understand them sometimes!!! and then there are times like today, where i don't understand myself either!!

i'm glad i have Jesus to do the judging. i'm glad i can trust Him. i'm glad he knows how to make decisions!

the game of tag

at least this kind of tagging doesn't require running. i hated that game as a child.

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:

1. summer activities coordinator for Big Brothers Big Sisters
2. produce girl at the Wholesale Club
3. nutrition services attendant (glorified dishwasher) at a rest home
4. and ummm.... i've picked strawberries more than one summer

FOUR MOVIES/SHOWS I'VE BEEN ADDICTED TO:

1. Full House (before we cut our cable last month)
2. CSI (last year - supper time show)
3. i'll admit it...last season's Bachelor...sad but true
4. aaand i watched Friends a lot, had to catch up on the inside Friends jokes everyone always makes...but no tv now!!

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED:

1. here
2. with my parents in winkler
3. little aylmer ontario
4. and i guess you could count alberta and taiwan, for a few months

FOUR COUNTRIES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:

1. Romania
2. Scotland
3. Russia
4. Mexico

FOUR POPULAR FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME:

1. that I'm always happy
2. that my name is pronounced marsha
3. that i'm as naive as i seem
4. that i've had boyfriends before

FOUR PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE (according to some people):

1. my sister Carrilee
2. my dad's sister
3. apparently i only look like my sisters, so Monica
4. and Johanna.. some say my mom, but i don't get it

FOUR THINGS (I HOPE) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. learn to play guitar really well (and brush up on my piano skills)
2. travel! see the nations come to Jesus
3. learn to love well
4. overcome my pride and tongue

PEOPLE I TAG NEXT:

1. Annie - i dare you to do it!
2. Lori
3. Crystal
4. Kendra D

above all else

Jesus, my passion in life is to know You
may all other goals bow down
to this journey of loving You more

hear my heart's cry
my prayer for this life

above all else
above all else
above all else
give me Yourself

a wedding, a baby and hedbanz

"you said you'd bake us a cake, you said you'd bake us a cake, you said you'd bake us a cake [insert rythmic noises] you said you'd bake us a cake!!!"

i had the greatest weekend in saskatchewan. i got there, and it seems my dear sally's wedding was the talk of that small town and joanna knew more about it than i did! it was WONDERFUL to see people from the ranch again....i love you Jessica!! and thanks for the hug from amanda :) wish i had time to stay for the dance, but watching pride & prejudice was "an agreeable alternative"!!!

oh and the hours we spent in the civic - red coat trail-er girls forever!

now back to the grindstone
"i'm totally bummed that school is happening again this week"

this post is dedicate in advance to the most beautiful girls/women in the world:
MY SISTERS



two of whom have birthdays this weekend!
so here's my HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you girls - Monica the married and Carrilee the crazy.

"Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek.
....
wait for the Lord. be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
psalm 27

This is my prayer for both of you - that you would grow in the knowledge of Jesus, that you would pursue it and that as God hears you and answers you, you would be blessed by him!
i love you guys lots!

by any other name

well folks, this is it. sort of. this is a picture of a car very similar to mine.
i just need a name - i'm considering "annie" because she put up with so much of my indecision, and so many questions, and she test drove it, since my standard skills have yet to be developed. any name ideas anyone??

i was made to enjoy my God.

this is what i was created for. for beauty, enjoyment - in their deepest form - love. right now i want to cry and cry and cry. some tears of self-pity, others of stress and others of desire. i want to say i want Jesus more than anything. and yet i feel selfish saying this now, when my life has thrown things and feelings my way that i don't know how to handle. and yet if i can't turn to my God now, when will i be able to? i am so weak. i'm ashamed of myself. a feeling foreign to a mind that's usually prideful. i may be confident, but i am weak. and so often afraid.

perfect love casts out fear. wait, i remember something God spoke to me once... just over a year ago... i wrote it on a napkin.
no fear in love. i have a perfect plan for you; your trust is secure in me. i have made you a mouthpiece to the nations. no fear in love.

love: so abstract, misunderstood and desired.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers...let us not love with words or tongue but in actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.
I John 3:16,18-20
(thanks steph!)

i need a name

well kids, i bought my "first" car. as in, i bought it. not my mom, dad or anyone else. although goodness knows i asked theirs and annie's opinion millions of times! but i bought it. my money, my name, my insurance.

so here's the low-down. it's a nice little 86 VW jetta, 4 door, sunroof, leather seats, standard. it's not the newest car in the world, but it is in good condition, and was the right price. oh, and annie tells me it was grey. i thought it was blue-gray. but whatever. it's mine!

here's some trivia for the day. tell me what movie this quote is from:
"There are so many responsibilities on a person's mind when they are house keeping!"

WHAT DID I DO???

I BOUGHT A CAR!!!!!
and i'm nervous, of course. more on this later.

what was i thinking

here's my real big news!!
i mailed off my application to work at camp on monday. i got a call (more than one, i was always out and they had to leave messages) on thursday! so in one week, i'm off to have an interview about spending my summer with this Camp Work Program. this program i think is really exciting because it is specifically for young adults in leadership, or planning to be, and we build a team that works together the whole summer.

In may, we'd be in the city, raising money for the camp by work projects here, and then we'd have a canoe trip (!!!) and spend june - august at the camp, helping out wherever and however. i LOVE that! if there was one thing i missed last summer, it was being outside and working hard. i felt lazy a lot, sitting in my office. now, my family may say i don't always like to work hard, but if i'm passionate about something and can help out, i do. especially working with kids and did i mention the outdoors???

maybe i'm just getting winter cabin fever...i really really want to lie on grass and smell trees... not that i don't love winter...i do - but the in-between part is frustrating. the river isn't good for skating anymore, and yet i still can't roll around on the grass. i'm actually hoping for one more cold snap so i can skate on the river once more! then i will be ready for spring!

anyway, this camp thing has been an answer to prayer all along, and so if you'll join me in praying about it, that'd be great. also, i need a car. praying for the right one and a good decision. thanks!

forever changed

today, March 8th, a dark and mysterious man walked into my apartment. and my life will never be the same.

for my other kendra

i want to fall in love with you, Jesus.

so that's been my little theme lately - early mornings, late nights and all. can i just say falling in love isn't easy?? the crazy thing is that he is worthy of it, right? but at the same time, i have to get to know God to fall in love with him. in order to truly be devoted and in love, i have to decide to. i have to pursue the knowledge of him, who he is. and can i just say again that that is not easy at 7:45am!!! AND i have to keep in mind that i cannot love God or live for him out of my own self and strength. i can only love him because he loves me! i get so frustrated with myself sometimes - all these ideals and desires, but i feel as though i don't live them all out. but what i do know i love - i just ask for increased grace as i learn to live out of that love!

i finished my camp application on sunday!! i'm really excited to work at camp - i know to some it sounds crazy, cuz i won't make a lot of money....but i really want to do this. i LOVE being outside, and it gives me one more month in the city and i get to work with kids all summer!!!! oh school. please be over soon!

sent from above

i've had a good week. full of new ideas, good memories and encouraging circumstances. now i want to dedicate my post to my good friend

KENDRA T!
(whom i affectionately call "kenj"...and therefore suffer being called "marj" every now and then!)

i'm really really proud of you and how hard you work - you always challenge me and despite us being so different, we understand each other and i miss our three-in-the-front days of long talks!! you will make an excellent teacher one day and i can't wait to see how different next year will be for you in "artsy" classes!
i love you!