it was a good weekend. still processing some things, but that will have to wait.

in honour of dan

also in honour of the mr. nutbars of balmoral street. my good friend dan dubbed our squirrels in alberta "mr. nutbar" and every morning as i walk to school i have the chance to converse with many of these lovely fellows. they may run when they see me, but i know we're friends. so to you, mr. nutbar. we salute you.

mere me

i've finally started reading mere christianity. let's just say i finished the first chapter and had to try very hard to quell the urge to constantly stand up and shout "amen!" or some other exclamation. good stuff. finally handed in the papers due last week...that's a relief! AND i passed the genetics quiz i blanked on...not a great mark, but better than failing! AND i got the scholarship!!! for lots of money!!! yesterday shezza and i were talking and she said "the Lord's taking back what was stolen" and it's true! on more than one level. i got prayer two weeks ago at church, and that's what was prayed over me. so i took it to heart, and asked God which things were taken from me that i needed to take back in his authority. number 1: trust. after my car was stolen, i didn't trust God as a good God. so shallow, but it's true. i got caught up in self-pity and self-reliance, which always fails. so i asked God for trust in his goodness again. i claimed his faithfulness, his joy and his abundant life. the spiritual is what really matters. and while i didn't need the scholarship to prove God is good, it was a huge reminder of his faithfulness. good thing the Holy Spirit showed me this stuff before i knew i had the scholarship...or i could have been completely back in the selfish rut. praise God - he restores, reconciles and refreshes!

i'm home for the weekend. i love the crisp outside air, the colors in the ditches, fields and sky. and i love my family (those are my beautiful sistens!)

let this be my cry!!

you give good gifts to me
i pray that receive them well
so pass the cup of suffering
and let the oil of joy be poured
i'll say

God is good

we love your purpose Father
we want the glory to be yours
so pass the cup of suffering
and let the oil of joy be poured
we'll say

God is good

~ michelle patterson
enter the worship circle

system failure

i think my system may be about to fail...it's midterm and paper time....
and my sister died.. i mean, my computer. (sorry to those of you to whom that sounds horribly insenstive, go find a strongbad e-mail on homestarrunner.com and you'll understand)

goodbye compy. you have been....well, not really good to me, actually. jen's friend says he'll be able to recover my files and possibly fix up the baby for some deal....i hope it works. for now, i have a black screen to stare at on my desk, and much homework to be finished. and a prof who says "i'm sorry, you'll have to take the late penalty as a hit, only a doctor's note will suffice to not hand in your paper on time." thanks. thanks a lot. and the comfort of jen's friend saying "let this be a lesson in spyware." i trust no computer or computer program now. none.

time for a nap. this all happened late last night and ruffles had an 8:30 class this morning.

the 'more to come' came

well, it's been awhile since those last thoughts passed through my head, but here's the reason behind it. about 2 weeks ago i came to the point where i was fed up with myself. fed up with the delicate balance of wanting a boyfriend sometime, but knowing i was okay without and appreciating/being attracted to different things in different boys, but again, knowing i wouldn't really want to be pursued by said boys. what to do with all my desires?? then Jesus spoke (i love it when he does this....then again, sometimes it kicks me in the head) and simply told me to date him. now i've told myself, read to myself, over and over again that Jesus IS MY LOVER. the reasons i am attracted to any guy are the very things HE IS. but it never quite sinks in. and i'm not saying it has yet, but here's what i discovered. every attribute that attracts me makes me want to spend more time with that person. now, this is very elementary. i love Jesus. i can choose to date him, be his girlfriend. and while i can appreicate the (for example) musuclar arms of some random guy, my Jesus has just as beautiful arms! he does! and i see that (not that alone, but this is my little illustration) and i can date him! this beautiful Son of Man who loves me, not just the me i pretend to be, who is all the strength i need, want and desire. passionate pursuit? yes, in my Jesus. His arms are all i need.

Jesus = s'arms!

more to come later...
i love my Jesus, deep down in my heart.