fun things

first day of catch for the year!


part of my birthday present from my roomie, Steph! very special :) i hadn't had bubble tea since i lived in taiwan, 8 months before....it was very yummy!

transparent

that's my favorite piece by Luke Hendrickson. and it's what i would like to be. i've been more honest to people this past weekend than i usually like to be. by honest i don't mean i want to tell everyone exactly what i think, when i think it. but my desire is to be transparent so that they don't see me, but they see Christ through me. i am in Christ, and as such, he overwhelms me. more and more i'm realizing how i force my own emotions and reactions onto situations instead of allowing His response to work in me. does that make sense? there are so many times i know my reaction to something isn't appropriate or even kind, and i feel the Holy Spirit telling me, hey, do this instead. but so many times i say, no, this is me, i want to let people see me. but it's not really me anymore. it is for freedom i have been set free. so i will walk in your freedom Lord!

iiiiiii haven't the time for such things....

here's my update. i'm working, trying to wake up early and run/pray/read/walk, so far one morning of 3. my job is getting easier, i actually have things to do, no more headaches, and soon i can start working with the kids. we're leading worship on sunday, and baptisms in the evening. annie is moving to vancouver in less than two weeks, i now have a new roommate for next year ("favorite"), i'm going to miss annie like crazy. i can no longer write sentences either!

i went to watch mens league ball yesterday. mmm. i miss ball. perhaps my life will now consist of tuesday and thursday evenings at the diamonds. watching because i cannot play. slo-pitch, i'm actually excited for you! never thought the day would come. right now i'm listening to my family knack zoat. that's a gross sound when nothing else is happening. at a family gathering or ball game, it's acceptable, but at hte kitchen table, while i'm thinking...yuck. oh well. at least they don't get the shells all full of saliva like some people. can't wait till my pictures are developed, i babysat for some kids, and they are so cute!

holly is back! yippee and dippitty doo da day!!! phil is home too. but he'll be leaving shortly, like annie. but holly is going to sing with us and that gives me an excited face, it does.

enjoy your day, i must leave and sing and such things...

today i started my new job. last night, i tossed and turned, waking up all the time, i guess cuz i was nervous. that and my neck and back hurt. i had been at my brother's friend's house, helping his wife (who is my age, and they have the sweetest little 8 month old!). they just bought a "new" house and yard out in the country. the people living in the house before them were pigs. i'm not joking. they cleaned out 6 garbage truck loads of just piled up garbage bags. the entire house smelled like dog poop and cats were living in it. the basement was just a pile of garbage, with animal feces all over. upstairs, one room stank like urine, and it wasn't the bathroom. after they had pulled everything out and even washed some walls, the smell of smoke emerged, having previously been disguised in the poop smell. i went to help anna clean all the walls and ceilings. we bleached like crazy to get the smells out, and the walls went from browny yellow, to looking like we had painted over! it wasn't that hard to clean, but obviously no one ever just did it! in the evening, (we came at 2 already) her husband pressure-washed/bleached the basement, and my brother built a bonfire out of all the gross furniture that had been left there. so that was my day! we cleaned a lot, but it was fun, and i'm glad i could help.

on to all things Ladies Fellowship.....
we've been asked to lead singing for their wind-up!! so lori, kendra and i are joining them in wearing all sorts of funky hats and eating dessert at the little ladies coffee/dainties/antiques shop. good times with the older (wiser!) generation of women in our church :)

my feet!

my feet hurt. they are tired. so are my legs. i've been very very very busy for the past few days taking care of food prep, and serving it at our youth's dinner theatre. all in all, i think it went well, at least food-wise. i had a lot of fun, some good times in the kitchen. why don't we have boyfriends? janet couldn't figure it out either! :) not that that's all we talked about. there were moments of lori "being curt", and panic attacks because we didn't have enough chicken, then scrimping on the whip cream and pouring on the strawberries, and the tops of cakes being peeled off, and dishwashers not working, and kicking dallas' butt for always going in the "out" door. and making boys eat leftover cake and making juice with hot water, and.....i'm tired of listing things. on tuesday i start my new job. eeks! tomorrow is my last day of "freedom" before my busy summer begins....the plan is to call some neglected people (at least on my part), mail off a wedding package, and make some more needed connections. holly is in venice. i can't believe it. oh, and also this weekend, i headed out to ontario for my cousin's wedding....left home at 5:30 in the morning, returned 12 hours later, and hopped right on over to the dinner theatre. nice long day. oh! and saturday at 4:30 in the morning, there was snow on the ground. for those of you blessed with sleep, and unaware of the small taste of winter we still got... i really should go to bed. i miss reading my bible. seems to be the easiest thing to go these days....and i miss it. plus, my calluses are leaving my fingers because i've been skipping guitar to play piano instead now that i'm home. and working in a kitchen for a job, and now the dinner theatre, has wrung my hands dry. i'm done complaining now. i am. good night. to those of you whom i love, i love you. and i appreciate you. to those i have not shared thoughts with in awhile, i wish we had more time, and i wish we could see each other.

one last thought. i took over for my sister in children's worship hour for my sister, which means i played with 6 kids, mostly under three. i miss babies! they were adorable, and i loved it!

strange dreams

last night i dreamt that phil unrau's little brother held up me and some friends at some convenience store as we were leaving bible study in winnipeg. he had a gun, so we were going to give him money, then some guy in a store across the street saw him and yelled, and then he ran. so we were safe. and we jumped into our car, and drove down the road to kendra, lori and amanda booy, cuz they wanted a ride with us, but had run when they say the dude. i guess i dreamt about this because yesterday we talked about amanda, and kendra ran out of the ATM at the credit union so fast, that lori and i thought someone was trying to attack her. really, she just wanted to be able to get the green light. and then there were cops.

i woke up this morning and thought it was nice. then i checked the temperature. sunny, very sunny, but only 0 degrees. holly, you are in rome. i am envious. WOW!

tomorrow i "start" my new job! just some training from 11-3, and then tuesday i actually work a 9-5 day. eeeeeeks! i hope i can actually do this job, and live up to all the things i said at the interview.....(although i felt like all i said was, i would take the kids bowling....i think i can live up to that!) but now i have to call people and organize things and work in an office! so far my work places have been physical kind of things. produce, kitchen. that's my experience. anyways, God answered my prayers in getting the job, he'll get me through the job! amen.

eeks, i'm gettin' busy!

i told you being home, i'd blog less! like lori said, i have nothing i need to procrastinate from now! it's raining, it's been raining all weekend. i like the rain, when i'm home. in the city, it's all grey, blah, and i have nowhere to go. here, it makes the grass greener, the trees more dramatic, the air smell good, and when i go out, i can spin circles in the rain, catch it on my tongue, watch my dog get wet, drive down muddy roads.....much better than the city!

again, some thoughts on mark. Jesus tells the story of the man who owned a vineyard, rented it out, and then went on a trip. he then sent slaves to pick up his share of the profits, but the renter's beat them and eventually, ended up killing even his son when he sent his son. that way they could own the vineyard. the last part of this story (12:12), says that the jewish leaders knew that he had told this parable against, or about, them. and so they tried to arrest him and plotted against him!! when i read this, i thought, "how ridiculous!!" why, if they recognized they were the "bad" people in the parable, would they go and try to do exactly what it said they would? then there was moment of conviction. how often do i hear something from the Holy Spirit, feel convicted, and then move on and do it anyway, in anger that i've been "found out" and now i could care less? it seems to only happen with little things. but that still matters. i still do things that i know i shouldn't. that i know will only hinder me. i'm no better at doing things on my own will or power than the pharisees were. spiritual living is not living out of my spirit, but the Spirit of God in my spirit. working on my spirit. but i also need to allow it, and desire it. sometimes my mind goes crazy with all the crazy grace and yet free will of Christ's redemption plan. crazy! but good!

mark

i'm going through the gospel of Mark right now. there are a few things i'm noticing that recur like crazy. Jesus HEALS! and sometimes he can't. it all hinges on belief and faith. now this can be a touchy subject because these days people can be blamed for not having enough faith to be healed. and i don't think that's right. but is interesting to notice how often Christ went somewhere and unbelief prevented more miracles. i'm not even sure where i stand on this, because if you say "if you believe enough, it will be" you're bound to be judging people for unbelief. maybe it's something that is required for miracles, but not a guarantee of miracles. does that make sense? Our belief may be rewarded with a miracle, but our belief alone does not dictate a miracle. there are other factors.

another interesting thing i noticed was that when Christ sees the crowds and has compassion on them, he often begins to teach. for example, in chapter 6:34 it says "he had compassion on them....so he began teaching them..." that's of interest to me especially because i'm going to be a teacher. compassion is key to teaching, i think. if you cannot have loving compassion for the "lostness" of your students, whether they are lost spiritually or mathematically, your approach to teaching them will be ineffective. it will be condescending, as from a position of power only, not from a position of encouragment and sharing. wow, my ed.today prof would love it that i'm journalling about teaching in the summer!

yesterday was the first catch of the summer!!!!!! lori and kendra came over and we played catch....i was the worst at throwing, i can't believe it! it's been two years since i've played for a team, and i guess you can tell :( but the girls were very encouraging. after i over-threw to lori and hit our swingset, kendra said "that's really good, marce, it takes talent to hit that pole!" i was better by the end, i should say. but still. a little disappointed in my accuracy. but it was still lots of fun to be able to throw and catch a baseball....i miss it!!!! i think i'm going to go outside and start some batting practice :)

as a horse

i think i'll be busy this summer. but that's good, cuz this year at school wasn't that busy...more stress than busyness. i had crazy dreams last night...my english prof told me i did terrible on my exam, but wouldn't tell me my mark. then i tried to go to the third floor to check my bio mark, and all the stairs ended before you got to the third floor. one of them had a rope hanging that you could climb up, but i didn't really want to do that!

yesterday i went through all the clothes in my boxes, closet and room. i ended up giving a third to my older sister, a third to my next younger, and then some are being stored away (till that magical day when they fit properly again!) and the others are being given to MCC. along with many little knickknacks from down the years. today the big project is to do dishes (my mom left me a note) and go through all the stuff downstairs that i need for my apartment, but not for the summer. that will be fun....?

and then maybe there'll be some time to pound the piano. i did yesterday....oh it was fun!!! my brother is bear-hunting today. just thought i'd throw that in. i'd also like to go for a walk. the village of schanzenfeld is ever creeping closer to my house with it's new bays and buildings....it's "shorter" to get there now. i think that was bad grammar....but it's the summer! maybe i'll have more than a run-down of my day, tomorrow. tchus!
*is that how you spell it, lori?