me myself and i

sometimes i frustrate myself.

i so badly want to "die to self" and have all of me burned away so that all of Christ is all that's left. and then i find myself trying to do it on my own ability. that defeats the whole purpose!! i try so hard to understand other people so i can love them better. but i often end up being offended by them because i can't truly understand them from my selfish perspective. i start to think that i'm better because if i were in that situation, i would not act that way. that attitude is, of course, simply pride and me falling right back into the trap of not loving them because all i think about is me.

so here's my new resolution: to love others, not through my own understanding of their behaviour or atttitudes, but to love others better by loving God. that is the first and greatest commandment. loving God brings revelation and the ability to love, which is given to us by him to begin with in order to love him! this is my hope then: to love God better and more each day.