hmmm

"while our heart grows in its capacity for pleasure, it grows in its capacity to know pain" ~ john eldredge & brent curtis
"God's problem is not that God is not able to do certain things. God's problem is that God loves. Love complicates the life of God as it complicates every life" ~ john douglas hall

i've been meaning to write here for awhile. been busy - procrastinating, as usual :) however, there are some things i definitely want to say. God is good. how do i know this? and how can i say this to people who are dying in poverty, children who are deprived of things i take for granted? i don't know if i could say it to their faces, but i believe i would, because i believe it with all my heart. God's love is something we will never fully understand. the beauty of love is not in it's magnitude or overwhelming feeling, but in it's meaning. to love something completely you make yourself vulnerable. God loved the people he created so much, that he gave them free will; the will to choose him or not to choose him. He recognized that love would not truly be love if there was not the freedom to choose. but because of that freedom, adam and eve, and the rest of humanity since, have suffered exquisite pain, yet longed for and occassionally experienced exquisite beauty. the world is a hard, hateful and cold place, because we have free will. because in loving us so much and desiring relationship with us, God has made himself vulnerable to our decisions. it hurts his heart that there is pain in this world. it breaks his heart that children are unloved, families are broken and lives feel meaningless. it is in the beauty of his love, the beauty of his goodness, that we also experience pain. perhaps no pain would seem to be a good thing. but without pain, there is no beauty in love. i dont' know if i can say it any different than that. i believe with all my heart that the God who loved so much that he let his own son die a horrible, horrible death so that i could love him without reserve, and be loved and seen as perfect by him in return is a GOOD GOD! i serve a God who makes his love complete in us. thank you Jesus, for the cross! thank you God for your redemption despite our failures! thank you for your grace, your mercy and your love!! you are good and your love endures! may your goodness be made known, fully known, to all generations!