sometimes i wonder why certain people are still in my life. people with whom i don't really get along; or we do, but we have no real bond. but they're still in my life, long after i thought we'd go in different directions. and it's true that you learn from these types of relationships, but it's also very frustrating. and then add to that my feeling like a floating homer, that paddles a bit, lets go of a few things, but then, after letting go, still hold onto the apathy that keeps you from paddling. i don't think i should write entries when i feel so apathetic. and yet, i feel that way.
we serve a great God. we really do. he deserves all my life and more. why am i so reluctant to give it all? and why do i allow myself to be reluctant when i really sit down and soak in the depth of what he has for me, and when i let myself do that, i get super-excited? my spiritual life is not about the journey. it's not about my growth, and it's not about my service or my blessings. it's about complete devotion to God without regard for those things. without regard for blessings, material comfort, even friendships. i shouldn't be expecting God to pour out these things in my life. He will, because he is a good God who loves me, but! that's not my purpose in living. it's not my purpose to get all my support from him. i am to pour out my life for him. it's all about him. really. and i need to suck it up and live for him! okay, resolved. now i feel better. funny how attitudes can change your feelings and actions. wow. amen.
2 comments:
wow, so true! that's really insightful! it's strange how we have this mindset that everything must be all about us and what we get out of it. but it's far from that. thanks for keeping it real marce! see you tomorrow!
Marc, your honesty encourages me, i think we all have those days where we need to suck it up and change our life's focus. Before Joshua become leader God promised him 4 things which he promises to all of us and this is what i lean on. He promises to: enable us with God's presence (deut. 31:7-8), empower us by the Holy Spirit (Num. 27:18),ecouage us by God's ppl (deu. 3:28), and to be equipped by God's wisdom (3:28). in Psalms 145:19 it says "he fulfills the desires of those who fear him".... In Revelation 3:8 john encourages the church saying:..."you have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me." Luke 12:14-32 it's all so good, but i love especially ok all of it. all about worrying and material wealth! i thought i'd share some of my favourite verses with you, i hope they encouraged you and if not, really looking at them again encouraged me!!
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