4 and a half more days of work!!!

woot.
that is my present excitement. my present nervousness is knowing i may have to do a presentation in front of city council tonight. my boss is sick, and not in the office today, and if she isn't feeling better by this evening, i have to do it. NERVOUS! at least i "know" the mayor. sort of. that actually makes it more awkward because he knows me and i've done stuff in our church.

what else can i say? oh yes. i have no lunch. but i had a "dang-good/dagwood" sandwich for breakfast this morning, so all is well in my belly. i wish i had meaningful things to say.

why is running away so ingrained in the responses of humans? despite being told i like to make people uncomfortable, and that i'm good at broaching touchy subjects without being offensive, i'm not really confrontational. i sometimes wish i was. i wish we could say things right up front and not worry about hurting feelings. and that honesty wouldn't have to be accompanied by risk. but it is. even if we have done nothing on our part to make it so. am i being vague? most likely. my desire for transparency is hard because if i'm transparent i'm vulnerable. and i don't always desire that. also, i can be very vague, which isn't very transparent. but the other thing about being so open is that you have to keep doing it, even when other people aren't. how to balance that? someone opens themselves and the other person would rather stay closed. does being transparent and open mean that you are open to everyone no matter what, or that you are open when it it prudet only? and how do you decide what is prudent without letting personal fears get in the way? i could make a whole entry on questions i have. thanks chris. if any teacher/leader of mine has made me question everything i hear/learn, it's chris keim. it's annoying!!! and good....oh my. i should quit before i confuse myself more. i promise one day there will be pictures of iowa and not just my ramblings!!